(via jaz-o)


kaliforhnia:

i have shitty days and all i have to do is think of u and my day instantly becomes better

(via sea-of-air)


sadstagram:

which is messier my life or my hair

(via hundredacrewoods13)


dysphorism:

joelvibrittania:

This says a lot about people

It took me so long to realise it was the same girl each time hahah shit

(via sea-of-air)


ocevns:

kinda want to eat healthy and exercise
kinda want to consume my body weight in ice cream

(via sea-of-air)


asphyxion:

some of the people on my dash i just assume are their icons bc i’ve never seen their pics so it’s like “oh look gandalf is up late bloggin again” 

(via whoaitsthebreakdown)


(via jaz-o)


allo-mishamigos:

andrewthepoet:

One time I went on a date to the Olive Garden and I ordered the seafood pasta. I open up one of the muscle oyster things and low and behold there is a tiny crab in there. I freak out and think it’s the craziest thing ever. I keep talking to my then girlfriend about this tiny crab. How hilariously wonderful it is that the little dude crawled in there in the ocean only to become a freaky little part of my pasta. She is very unamused and clearly wants me to shut the hell up about this tiny crab and be a normal person. She is 0% excited about the tiny crab. 
The waitress comes over eventually and is like ‘hey how’s the meal?’ and I’m like ‘awesome, but you gotta check this out! i found a tiny crab in here!’ and waitress freaks out and thinks its awesome. And she is like ‘can I take this to show everyone else?’ and I’m all like ‘hells yeah.’ So she does and everyone else that works there thinks it’s awesome.
Girlfriend SUPER annoyed.
The End.

Date the waitress.

allo-mishamigos:

andrewthepoet:

One time I went on a date to the Olive Garden and I ordered the seafood pasta. I open up one of the muscle oyster things and low and behold there is a tiny crab in there. I freak out and think it’s the craziest thing ever. I keep talking to my then girlfriend about this tiny crab. How hilariously wonderful it is that the little dude crawled in there in the ocean only to become a freaky little part of my pasta. She is very unamused and clearly wants me to shut the hell up about this tiny crab and be a normal person. She is 0% excited about the tiny crab. 

The waitress comes over eventually and is like ‘hey how’s the meal?’ and I’m like ‘awesome, but you gotta check this out! i found a tiny crab in here!’ and waitress freaks out and thinks its awesome. And she is like ‘can I take this to show everyone else?’ and I’m all like ‘hells yeah.’ So she does and everyone else that works there thinks it’s awesome.

Girlfriend SUPER annoyed.

The End.

Date the waitress.

(via whoaitsthebreakdown)



sarcastic-snowflake:

So every morning I get off the train and start my 20 minute walk to work, and there’s this guy who’s always like 3 steps ahead of me and always beats me to the street corner bc I get stopped by the light and he passes it. but today I was ahead of him for the first time and he RUNS in front of me, turns around and goes “I’ve been winning for 2 months, can’t stop now, have a good day, see you tomorrow.”  tmrw I swear i’m wearing running shoes to work. 

(via youcanstalkmehere)


buttermilkqueen:

rnessaged:

buttermilkqueen:

it should be my birthday everyday

you would be very old

what a rude thing to say to someone on their birthday

(via youcanstalkmehere)


umq:

Climbing by (JAKEBOREM)

umq:

Climbing by (JAKEBOREM)

(via igottashakeitoff)


haleycomet:

i literally never get tired of this post

(via sea-of-air)


officialbeyonceknowles:

u deserve a nice boy who texts u back and buys u tacos and doesn’t kiss other girls behind ur back and who makes u laugh and thinks ur funny

(via sea-of-air)


terrible-beauty:

IM SO SATISFIED

(via youcanstalkmehere)